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[mapsio]

TEXT。VOICE。VIDEO。ACTION

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text.

[actus]

hey.
i know it's late.
but if you're awake can i come over?

[mapsio]

I've been restless all night.
So the company is welcome.
Is everything okay?

[actus]

not really.

[ and it's a rare moment of weak and brutal honesty. joker is never not fine. but akira is a mess. ]

give me two minutes to walk over.

[mapsio]

Oh, dear...
Well, the door is unlocked so just come in.

[actus]

[ thanks best friend. he's there in five minutes and he looks like someone has just punched him in the gut. ]

... Hey.

[mapsio]

Sit down and tell me what's going on?

[She's sitting on the edge of her bed, patting a spot. What could be wrong this late at night?]

[actus]

[ hello bed. he sits down and just uselessly stares at his hands. ]

I... had a fight. That's all.

[mapsio]

Are you sure that's all?

[She wouldn't be your friend if she didn't push.]

[actus]

[ you're right. ]

A big one. Kind of ... big boss-level fight.

[mapsio]

Okay then. It was bad enough for you to say you weren't okay. So talk to me?

[actus]

[ words are hard though. he's surprised he's not crying. maybe it hasn't just settled in yet. ]

I'm an idiot. Deep down and I knew and I just... ignored it. Tried to avoid it.

[ he bites his lip. ]

... I don't think Hibiki and I will work out.

[mapsio]

No? Was the fight that bad? I've never caught wind of you two having an arguement before this one?

[ Needless to say she is a little shocked. She didn't think Hibiki could do something so horrible that Akira couldn't tolerate it?]

[actus]

[ that's the thing. they hadn't argued before this. everything had been going so damn well.

and shit he feels guilty even mentioning any of this. as if he still feels like he should protect hibiki's secrets with his life. ]

...He kills people, Haru.

[mapsio]

[Haru doesn't believe him for a moment. Hibiki? She'd need to hear it from him to even believe it even.]

What? You're not being serious, are you?

[actus]

[ he feels betrayed and hurt and wants nothing more than to blink and make it go away so that it never happened. ]

He just told me.

[ akira's voice is unsteady. ]

Two months and he just ...

[mapsio]

I wonder why he wouldn't tell you.

[Why would Hibiki hide it? Why would he hurt Akira? But then again, are they any different? She doesn't want to bring that up yet so she won't.]

I'm sorry, Akira-kun.

[actus]

[ it's been a hell of a ride. and yeah that's best left for some other time. ]

I don't know what to do.

[mapsio]

[She is going to grab his hands gently, her thumbs rubbing his soothingly.]

I don't know what you think is right, but, I do know that if you are indecisive you have doubts. What are you doubting? Yourself? Your judgement? Hibiki-san?

[actus]

[ too many questions!!! but he appreciates the touch and he realizes into it, eyes glued to the motion. ]

Everything, probably.

[ a weak laugh, and then: ]

I should never want to see him again but.

[mapsio]

You want to see him again, don't you? You have unanswered questions.

[Akira is stronger than he thinks. She knows that. Joker might be more resilient in more ways than one... but without the mask. Haru knows that Akira is no person to play with either.]

I honestly don't know what is right either.

[actus]

Mm.

[ that makes sense. haru's definitely nailed it with that observation but it doesn't help. he's so caught up with all of these emotions that are clawing him apart, bit by bit. ]

It's been two months.

[ listen this is the part where he's going to admit he's in Too Deep. ]

[mapsio]

Your feelings are rooted pretty deep, aren't they?

[Another reassuring squeeze. She doesn't want to tell him what to do with those feelings.

Does Hibiki even get another chance after admitting something so heavy? She isn't sure how likely it is. Though on the other hand she doesn't have much sympathy for someone who can admit to killing people in cold blood.]

[actus]

[ it goes against everything they stand for. everything they've fought for.

akira bites his bottom lip a bit too hard because it stings. maybe he deserves that. ]

Yeah. [ a pause. ] I thought about what would happen - what I'd do if he just disappeared tomorrow. Like the others. And I...

[ wouldn't be happy. ]

[mapsio]

[Oh, Akira... she's switching from holding his hands to holding him entirely. She's going to hope that maybe having someone to lean on right now is what he needs, maybe to help him sort things out.]

You don't hate him?

[She's silent a moment.]

But you can't excuse his actions.

[actus]

[ it feels safe, warm, and akira appreciates it more than anything else. it's what friends are for, right? to be here when shit hits the fan. ]

Right. If I forgave him I'd be a hypocrite. I can't just give him a pass.