[Thankfully for Hinata, Haru knows everything already. Knows that Ryuji spilled the beans, and knows that Hinata agreed to join them. So she is ready for whatever mess that Hinata was going to bring to her.
[Okay, just saying he's okay, has got to make it true somehow, right? He exhales quietly through his nose and moves closer to some of the plants, reaching out to touch the leaves of... something, he doesn't know what it is, as if that'll distract him from what he has to talk about.]
Um... I was hanging out with Ryuji last night, and we ended up talking about some stuff from home. He, uh, told me about... what happened to your father. I didn't mean to pry-!
[He holds up both hands defensively. Please don't be mad at either him or Ryuji.]
He just, you know, he thought you'd already told me... it's not his fault. I'm really sorry. And I won't bring it up again if you don't want me to, I just...
[He wanted her to know that he knows, which sounds stupid to say aloud. He takes a breath, looks to her beseechingly. If she has to be mad at someone, let it be him and not Ryuji.]
[Just as she thought, Hinata was here to bring up the same thing that Ryuji had. Her reaction to Ryuji had been a lot more... negative. She had to get that out of her system to be able to move forward and perhaps not give someone else the same response.
She sighs, running a hand through her curls.]
I know he told you who lead to the cause of my Father's demise. Truthfully, it was my fault for not being more upfront in the first place. I never told you he was murdered. I... didn't want to put that burden on your shoulders.
[Here they are, a week later. That burden now on Hinata's shoulders. The burden of knowing that Akechi Goro is a murderer. Not by choice, but a murderer nonetheless.]
Akechi-san may be at fault for what happened. But I understand that he truly didn't have a choice in the matter. My Father had to die to please his, and I kept fighting as a Phantom Thief because I thought that was the right thing to do.
[Letting that out, as if Ryuji probably already told Hinata about the fact that she is also a Persona user.]
[That's a relief, kind of. He sighs and lowers his hands, shoving them in his pockets instead.
Put the burden on his shoulders. At the time, when he was asking about it, he didn't know what a burden it would actually be. But it is, it really is, and knowing Haru's part of the same kind of group Ryuji is -- criminals, vigilantes, basically superheroes -- means that he's getting left behind by another friend, again. He'd already assumed she had the same kind of powers that Ryuji did, but hearing it directly from her is... somehow different.
But this isn't about him right now, not really. So he just shakes his head.]
It's not your fault. It... really wasn't any of my business to know. I'm just... sorry it came up when you weren't there.
But... [He's from a canon where nothing can progress without questions being asked. It's in the rules. And again, maybe he's prying, sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. But he still has to ask, still has to know, from Haru herself.] ...Do you blame him? Akechi.
He was very quick to tell me, and... I appreciate his honesty.
[She doesn't view it like that. She doesn't view them as criminals. The one thing Haru always wanted to be in life is a person who stood up against evil. Like her favorite female heroes.
She shakes her head.]
Now that I have had time to think about it. One day, I would have told you anyways. At least about being a Phantom Thief.
[She takes a deep breath, placing a hand over her eyes and bringing forth her mask. It rests easily against her face like it belongs there. Simple, plain, but so very Haru.]
Akechi-san is burdened with these same powers, and was dealt a very different hand than the rest of us. I understand that he may not have been able to help his situation... but it doesn't stop me from being bitter.
[It's said almost apologetically. If Ryuji weren't so honest, if Hajime weren't so willing to question, they wouldn't be in this kind of situation. But it's just the kind of guy he is, earnest and forthright. Hajime can't really help but admire that; it takes more resolve to be honest than it does to lie.
He still flinches when a mask appears out of thin air, covering her face. It's not intimidating like Ryuji's, but the suddenness, the supernaturalness still startles him. The simplicity suits her, at least, though really, it could be covered in jewels and he'd still think it suits her, so. Hajime's opinion is invalid.]
Wow...
[No matter how simple or ornate the mask is, it's still something that sets her apart from an ordinary boy like him. A visible symbol that she's not just a normal girl, that she's part of something bigger. Ryuji can say Hajime's part of the group all he wants, and maybe that's true. But he doesn't think he'll be able to fit in. Not really.
He just nods though. It's not a complete answer to his question, not a yes or no, but it's enough that he won't pry further today.]
I... see. Um... thank you. For telling me, and... for showing me.
The fact that he told you only means he trusts you. Being Phantom Thieves is equally important to all of us. If he told you, then I think that means you must be a really trustworthy guy.
[She doesn't blame Ryuji. She doesn't blame herself. It was bound to come out eventually. She really just wishes it didn't happen like this.
She toys with the edge of the mask, it's soothing to feel Milady at her side. She feels empowered when she turns to her Persona. This is the only way she can feel strong.]
[He wants to laugh at her saying he's trustworthy. Not that he's not trustworthy, just that it sounds like a compliment when she says it, and that's the only way he knows how to respond to compliments.]
Aah, thanks. I... won't let you down.
[That's as much a promise as it is an answer. This, at least? He isn't going to tell anyone about. It wasn't his business in the first place, it's not his secret to share.
My Persona, Hajime-san. Her name is Milady. She is the one that lends me her power so I can do what I do.
[She is willing to show him now that he knows. There was no point in hiding it anymore. If Hinata is going to know about all of them, they may as well introduce him to the idea of powers.]
[Ryuji had been a little vague on the mechanics, and Hajime had been overwhelmed enough at the time not to think of asking.
Does he want her to? It sounds like something wildly unreal. The source of her powers... But it's Haru. And while he doesn't know much, he does want to get to know his friends, as well as they'll let him. So he nods, eyes flicking curiously over her mask again.]
I... yeah. As long as you want me to, um, see her, I'd... be honored.
[No, wait, that sounds too formal, too uptight. He laughs quietly and runs a hand through his hair. God, can't he be cool for once in his life??]
S-sorry, I'm not... All of this is so different, it's hard to know what to say. I meant to say, um, I'd like that.
[He falls into step beside her, sneaking sideways glances at her face as if trying to tell if she's actually angry at him, and just hiding it really well.]
We're going somewhere more open, I need a little room.
[He will see why in a moment. Once they arrive at the fitness center, she will look around to make sure no one else is watching or around. She takes a deep breath and literally rips the mask from her face.
It isn't as intense as the first time she ever did it, but... the notion is all the same.
[He truly doesn't know what to expect. Ryuji hadn't shown him anything other than the mask; he'd let him hold it, confirm it was a real, physical object, but this--
Hajime's voice catches in his throat. When he's afraid, truly frightened by something out of his experience, he can't react at all. He can only stare, eyes wide, face pale, as he stares up at the... something that's just appeared.]
Eh...?
[When he finds his voice, it's smaller than he would like. He feels small; more than just making a mask appear out of nowhere like Ryuji had, this is obviously some kind of supernatural being. Haru... is on an entirely different level than he could ever be, and he's realizing it in one sharp shock.]
[She knows Milady is big, she knows she is intimidating. But the nuances behind Milady are very Haru. Milady is Haru, Haru is Milady. I am thou, thou art I. That kind of thing.]
Milady is a part of me, you know. The part of me that wants to do better for our broken world. She is my flag of rebellion.
[Milady floats there, not making much of a move besides the gentle wave of her fan.] If I didn't have Milady, I would never have been able to attempt to save my Father from his horrible deeds.
[Words are failing him in the face of what's obviously a supernatural entity. Is this... Haru's soul? That can't be the right word, it just can't. It doesn't make sense with how Ryuji described what they do, so it's... it's a part of her. A facet of herself that she can just summon, and presumably fight with.
He feels like if he tries to move, he'll just collapse to the deck. It's hard not to bluescreen right now; his head feels like it's swimming.]
I... don't know what I was expecting, [he says finally, exhaling a shaky breath.] I've just... I've never seen anything like her.
[It wouldn't be wrong to say this is a piece of Haru's soul. She made a lasting contract with Milady. One that would not break until her job was done. Seeing Milady fight right now isn't something that will happen.
Haru doesn't use her irresponsibly.]
Before I came into contact with the Phantom Thieves, and before I gained a Persona myself... I would have said the exact same thing. I would have never believed anyone.
[He can't stare at Milady any longer. Not only is it rude to stare at a lady, it's seriously freaking him out. So he looks back to Haru, though he stops short of asking her to put Milady away. Or... whatever it is she does when Milady isn't floating around nearby. God.]
Um... th-thank you. For showing me. I... how did you get involved? If... it's not too much to ask.
[Soon enough, Milady will give a wave of her fan and disappear. The mask reappears on Haru's face in blue flame.
She doesn't want to scare Hinata off.]
My Father. I wanted to save my Father from going downhill any more than he already had. I thought if I could steal his deep rooted desires from him... well, he would be the loving Father that I remembered.
[He tenses when Milady just vanishes, but it eases quickly enough. It's a lot less intimidating when there isn't a hovering guns-under-skirt spirit visibly watching him, after all.]
I... see. I get it.
[And... he thinks he does, really. Even if Haru's father had been a terrible person, making her go along with that arranged marriage, she remembers him as someone different. If she really thought she could bring him back... of course she'd do whatever she could.
He's still not completely sold on the morality of forcibly going into someone's soul to change them. He's certain he doesn't want that ever to happen to him, because he wants to make his own choices, even if they're wrong. But he can understand Haru, at the very least. He can understand Haru, and Ryuji with Kamoshida. He can understand the feeling of wanting to fight, to do whatever one's capable of to try to change things.
He shakes himself out of his own thoughts, lowering a hand he hadn't realized he'd brought up to his lips.]
I'm... sorry about what happened. And, um... I'm sorry I brought it up, too. I really... didn't mean to pry and get involved like this.
I have to understand that perhaps Akechi-san didn't have a choice. There was a possibility that Shido would have gotten rid him if he didn't do what he did, I'm sure of it.
[Her fists are clenched. She hates Akechi to an extent, his actions altering her life to an extreme. She hated to think about it. She hated so much to always be conflicted about what she should think or how she should feel.]
Please, do not worry or blame yourself. I know you are trustworthy.
[Perhaps he didn't have a choice. A possibility. Hajime's lips twist into another frown, gaze returning to the floor for a moment. Maybe that's true, and he didn't have a choice. But he won't know until he asks Goro himself.
A sigh, then he looks back up, frown fading into a small smile.]
I'm glad you think so. I'm... gonna have to talk to Amamiya and the others, huh...? I hope they agree with you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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She shrugs.]
I'm okay, what about you?
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[Okay, just saying he's okay, has got to make it true somehow, right? He exhales quietly through his nose and moves closer to some of the plants, reaching out to touch the leaves of... something, he doesn't know what it is, as if that'll distract him from what he has to talk about.]
Um... I was hanging out with Ryuji last night, and we ended up talking about some stuff from home. He, uh, told me about... what happened to your father. I didn't mean to pry-!
[He holds up both hands defensively. Please don't be mad at either him or Ryuji.]
He just, you know, he thought you'd already told me... it's not his fault. I'm really sorry. And I won't bring it up again if you don't want me to, I just...
[He wanted her to know that he knows, which sounds stupid to say aloud. He takes a breath, looks to her beseechingly. If she has to be mad at someone, let it be him and not Ryuji.]
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She sighs, running a hand through her curls.]
I know he told you who lead to the cause of my Father's demise. Truthfully, it was my fault for not being more upfront in the first place. I never told you he was murdered. I... didn't want to put that burden on your shoulders.
[Here they are, a week later. That burden now on Hinata's shoulders. The burden of knowing that Akechi Goro is a murderer. Not by choice, but a murderer nonetheless.]
Akechi-san may be at fault for what happened. But I understand that he truly didn't have a choice in the matter. My Father had to die to please his, and I kept fighting as a Phantom Thief because I thought that was the right thing to do.
[Letting that out, as if Ryuji probably already told Hinata about the fact that she is also a Persona user.]
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[That's a relief, kind of. He sighs and lowers his hands, shoving them in his pockets instead.
Put the burden on his shoulders. At the time, when he was asking about it, he didn't know what a burden it would actually be. But it is, it really is, and knowing Haru's part of the same kind of group Ryuji is -- criminals, vigilantes, basically superheroes -- means that he's getting left behind by another friend, again. He'd already assumed she had the same kind of powers that Ryuji did, but hearing it directly from her is... somehow different.
But this isn't about him right now, not really. So he just shakes his head.]
It's not your fault. It... really wasn't any of my business to know. I'm just... sorry it came up when you weren't there.
But... [He's from a canon where nothing can progress without questions being asked. It's in the rules. And again, maybe he's prying, sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. But he still has to ask, still has to know, from Haru herself.] ...Do you blame him? Akechi.
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[She doesn't view it like that. She doesn't view them as criminals. The one thing Haru always wanted to be in life is a person who stood up against evil. Like her favorite female heroes.
She shakes her head.]
Now that I have had time to think about it. One day, I would have told you anyways. At least about being a Phantom Thief.
[She takes a deep breath, placing a hand over her eyes and bringing forth her mask. It rests easily against her face like it belongs there. Simple, plain, but so very Haru.]
Akechi-san is burdened with these same powers, and was dealt a very different hand than the rest of us. I understand that he may not have been able to help his situation... but it doesn't stop me from being bitter.
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[It's said almost apologetically. If Ryuji weren't so honest, if Hajime weren't so willing to question, they wouldn't be in this kind of situation. But it's just the kind of guy he is, earnest and forthright. Hajime can't really help but admire that; it takes more resolve to be honest than it does to lie.
He still flinches when a mask appears out of thin air, covering her face. It's not intimidating like Ryuji's, but the suddenness, the supernaturalness still startles him. The simplicity suits her, at least, though really, it could be covered in jewels and he'd still think it suits her, so. Hajime's opinion is invalid.]
Wow...
[No matter how simple or ornate the mask is, it's still something that sets her apart from an ordinary boy like him. A visible symbol that she's not just a normal girl, that she's part of something bigger. Ryuji can say Hajime's part of the group all he wants, and maybe that's true. But he doesn't think he'll be able to fit in. Not really.
He just nods though. It's not a complete answer to his question, not a yes or no, but it's enough that he won't pry further today.]
I... see. Um... thank you. For telling me, and... for showing me.
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[She doesn't blame Ryuji. She doesn't blame herself. It was bound to come out eventually. She really just wishes it didn't happen like this.
She toys with the edge of the mask, it's soothing to feel Milady at her side. She feels empowered when she turns to her Persona. This is the only way she can feel strong.]
Hajime-san. Can I introduce you to Milady?
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Aah, thanks. I... won't let you down.
[That's as much a promise as it is an answer. This, at least? He isn't going to tell anyone about. It wasn't his business in the first place, it's not his secret to share.
He frowns, a little confused by her question.]
M...Milady?
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[She is willing to show him now that he knows. There was no point in hiding it anymore. If Hinata is going to know about all of them, they may as well introduce him to the idea of powers.]
Only if you really want me to though.
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[Ryuji had been a little vague on the mechanics, and Hajime had been overwhelmed enough at the time not to think of asking.
Does he want her to? It sounds like something wildly unreal. The source of her powers... But it's Haru. And while he doesn't know much, he does want to get to know his friends, as well as they'll let him. So he nods, eyes flicking curiously over her mask again.]
I... yeah. As long as you want me to, um, see her, I'd... be honored.
[No, wait, that sounds too formal, too uptight. He laughs quietly and runs a hand through his hair. God, can't he be cool for once in his life??]
S-sorry, I'm not... All of this is so different, it's hard to know what to say. I meant to say, um, I'd like that.
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[She talks to Milady often, the presence in her head and in her heart. The one who encouraged her to instigate her final betrayal.
Well, even so. Right now? Haru is going to start walking out of the garden. No one should be in the fitness area right now. She needs room.]
Come with me.
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[He falls into step beside her, sneaking sideways glances at her face as if trying to tell if she's actually angry at him, and just hiding it really well.]
I, um... where are we going?
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[He will see why in a moment. Once they arrive at the fitness center, she will look around to make sure no one else is watching or around. She takes a deep breath and literally rips the mask from her face.
It isn't as intense as the first time she ever did it, but... the notion is all the same.
What appears before them is her persona, Milady.]
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Hajime's voice catches in his throat. When he's afraid, truly frightened by something out of his experience, he can't react at all. He can only stare, eyes wide, face pale, as he stares up at the... something that's just appeared.]
Eh...?
[When he finds his voice, it's smaller than he would like. He feels small; more than just making a mask appear out of nowhere like Ryuji had, this is obviously some kind of supernatural being. Haru... is on an entirely different level than he could ever be, and he's realizing it in one sharp shock.]
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[She knows Milady is big, she knows she is intimidating. But the nuances behind Milady are very Haru. Milady is Haru, Haru is Milady. I am thou, thou art I. That kind of thing.]
Milady is a part of me, you know. The part of me that wants to do better for our broken world. She is my flag of rebellion.
[Milady floats there, not making much of a move besides the gentle wave of her fan.] If I didn't have Milady, I would never have been able to attempt to save my Father from his horrible deeds.
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[Words are failing him in the face of what's obviously a supernatural entity. Is this... Haru's soul? That can't be the right word, it just can't. It doesn't make sense with how Ryuji described what they do, so it's... it's a part of her. A facet of herself that she can just summon, and presumably fight with.
He feels like if he tries to move, he'll just collapse to the deck. It's hard not to bluescreen right now; his head feels like it's swimming.]
I... don't know what I was expecting, [he says finally, exhaling a shaky breath.] I've just... I've never seen anything like her.
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Haru doesn't use her irresponsibly.]
Before I came into contact with the Phantom Thieves, and before I gained a Persona myself... I would have said the exact same thing. I would have never believed anyone.
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Um... th-thank you. For showing me. I... how did you get involved? If... it's not too much to ask.
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She doesn't want to scare Hinata off.]
My Father. I wanted to save my Father from going downhill any more than he already had. I thought if I could steal his deep rooted desires from him... well, he would be the loving Father that I remembered.
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I... see. I get it.
[And... he thinks he does, really. Even if Haru's father had been a terrible person, making her go along with that arranged marriage, she remembers him as someone different. If she really thought she could bring him back... of course she'd do whatever she could.
He's still not completely sold on the morality of forcibly going into someone's soul to change them. He's certain he doesn't want that ever to happen to him, because he wants to make his own choices, even if they're wrong. But he can understand Haru, at the very least. He can understand Haru, and Ryuji with Kamoshida. He can understand the feeling of wanting to fight, to do whatever one's capable of to try to change things.
He shakes himself out of his own thoughts, lowering a hand he hadn't realized he'd brought up to his lips.]
I'm... sorry about what happened. And, um... I'm sorry I brought it up, too. I really... didn't mean to pry and get involved like this.
...Thanks for trusting me.
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[Her fists are clenched. She hates Akechi to an extent, his actions altering her life to an extreme. She hated to think about it. She hated so much to always be conflicted about what she should think or how she should feel.]
Please, do not worry or blame yourself. I know you are trustworthy.
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A sigh, then he looks back up, frown fading into a small smile.]
I'm glad you think so. I'm... gonna have to talk to Amamiya and the others, huh...? I hope they agree with you.