Joker: right, i should be saying thanks for dealing with that guy Joker: i can talk about my stuff later Joker: i just want to make sure Fox is ok Joker: and whatever that guy's worried about
girlfriend why you know the ways to guilt him so effectively???
it's gonna be. a minute. or two.]
Joker: he brought up Prisoner Dilemma Joker: game that happened before the house of betrayal, when i was trapped in mirrors Joker: long story short: Bad End fucked up Joker: we made a bad call Joker: there was a mistake in messaging Joker: AlcheME and Taisho had their hostages permanently affected Joker: Maki strangled me immediately after the game Joker: went on about how I didn't even think about her potentially being on the other side of a double-blind set up Joker: he basically said something similar in his criticisms Joker: Bad End hasn't consistently won a bad game since then Joker: even units who weren't involved in our group held it against us Joker: and i couldn't continue organizing the community Joker: and i spent the whole time during the game that knowing that playing the way we did would get us hostages hurt Joker: and thinking about how a unitmate of mine would go nuts and hurt more people Joker: and i got let out without a scratch
[uhhh he's. he's trying. it's a lot. there are a lot of feelings about this. but seems to realize he's kind of. losing coherency.]
Joker: he still misinterprets Bad End's explanation as an excuse Joker: a denial of guilt Joker: how much longer am i supposed to hold onto guilt? Joker: it's been 200 years for me, cognitively
[ dear fuck joker has had it rough. like. super rough. haru takes all of this information in.
on one hand? super glad joker is being honest with her, on the other? she wants to fix it, but she isn't sure that a cup of tea will get shu to understand. which is the shitty part. ]
Primrose: That is my problem with this place sometimes. Primrose: People hold mistakes against you, grudges. Primrose: They don't even try to understand. Primrose: You can't hold onto that guilt, and he shouldn't be holding onto that mistake. How can he even expect that?
[ she might be going in the wrong direction, but! She really is trying to understand. ]
Primrose: I can speak with him about the matter of his problem with you as well, if you like. Primrose: It's not fair to you if he only goes to me regarding problems with someone the both of us care for deeply. Primrose: But I won't if you think that will make matters worse somehow.
but also he's so weary with trying to throw arguments against that wall when there's more important things going on.]
Joker: not this time around Joker: we need to get whatever he has to say about Fox Joker: he won't cooperate if you're going to argue in favor of someone he's written off Joker: just don't even mention me until he does first
[ she hates not being able to do much more than this. If only she could take care of both things. But Joker is right. He is...so so right. they need to take care of fox first. So they will. ]
Primrose: I won’t mention it then. Unless he does. Promise. Joker: .... do you still want to spend time together tomorrow?
[wha--and this is coming in quicker than other messages:]
Joker: of course! Joker: this doesnt change that. i might be a little stressed right now but Joker: both you and Fox have been helping me with managing that sort of thing Joker: and i can put it aside to focus on us Joker: besides i was looking forward to maybe giving the amusement park a try with you.
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branchandroot
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-09 08:18 am (UTC)Primrose: Are you okay?
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-09 08:20 am (UTC)this was supposed to be a nice evening?
Haru should have a nice evening???
it's gonna be a little bit.]
Joker: i will be
Joker: sorry to dump this on your lap out of the blue
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-09 08:33 am (UTC)Primrose: You aren't dumping anything on me.
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-09 08:37 am (UTC)Joker is typing...
Joker is typing...]
Joker: right, i should be saying thanks for dealing with that guy
Joker: i can talk about my stuff later
Joker: i just want to make sure Fox is ok
Joker: and whatever that guy's worried about
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-09 08:46 am (UTC)Primrose: You and Fox are both equally important to me, so.
Primrose: I'll worry about the both of you.
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-09 08:58 am (UTC)girlfriend why you know the ways to guilt him so effectively???
it's gonna be. a minute. or two.]
Joker: he brought up Prisoner Dilemma
Joker: game that happened before the house of betrayal, when i was trapped in mirrors
Joker: long story short: Bad End fucked up
Joker: we made a bad call
Joker: there was a mistake in messaging
Joker: AlcheME and Taisho had their hostages permanently affected
Joker: Maki strangled me immediately after the game
Joker: went on about how I didn't even think about her potentially being on the other side of a double-blind set up
Joker: he basically said something similar in his criticisms
Joker: Bad End hasn't consistently won a bad game since then
Joker: even units who weren't involved in our group held it against us
Joker: and i couldn't continue organizing the community
Joker: and i spent the whole time during the game that knowing that playing the way we did would get us hostages hurt
Joker: and thinking about how a unitmate of mine would go nuts and hurt more people
Joker: and i got let out without a scratch
[uhhh he's. he's trying. it's a lot. there are a lot of feelings about this. but seems to realize he's kind of. losing coherency.]
Joker: he still misinterprets Bad End's explanation as an excuse
Joker: a denial of guilt
Joker: how much longer am i supposed to hold onto guilt?
Joker: it's been 200 years for me, cognitively
[yeah.]
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-10 05:28 am (UTC)on one hand? super glad joker is being honest with her, on the other? she wants to fix it, but she isn't sure that a cup of tea will get shu to understand. which is the shitty part. ]
Primrose: That is my problem with this place sometimes.
Primrose: People hold mistakes against you, grudges.
Primrose: They don't even try to understand.
Primrose: You can't hold onto that guilt, and he shouldn't be holding onto that mistake. How can he even expect that?
[ she might be going in the wrong direction, but! She really is trying to understand. ]
Primrose: I can speak with him about the matter of his problem with you as well, if you like.
Primrose: It's not fair to you if he only goes to me regarding problems with someone the both of us care for deeply.
Primrose: But I won't if you think that will make matters worse somehow.
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-10 07:25 am (UTC)haru is so good? girlfriend so good...
but also he's so weary with trying to throw arguments against that wall when there's more important things going on.]
Joker: not this time around
Joker: we need to get whatever he has to say about Fox
Joker: he won't cooperate if you're going to argue in favor of someone he's written off
Joker: just don't even mention me until he does first
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-10 06:36 pm (UTC)Primrose: I won’t mention it then. Unless he does. Promise.
Joker: .... do you still want to spend time together tomorrow?
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-10 07:11 pm (UTC)Joker: of course!
Joker: this doesnt change that. i might be a little stressed right now but
Joker: both you and Fox have been helping me with managing that sort of thing
Joker: and i can put it aside to focus on us
Joker: besides i was looking forward to maybe giving the amusement park a try with you.
[spoilers for his plottings for date]
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-11 03:36 am (UTC)Primrose: I haven't even been yet, actually.
Primrose: ... mm, butt... don't think I still won't worry about you being stressed out.
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-11 03:42 am (UTC)Joker: and i won't say not to worry
Joker: but i do want to have some fun, too
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-11 03:45 am (UTC)Primrose: Just me, you, and the amusement park.
Primrose: It'll be a no stress date!
Re: Day 125, evening
Date: 2019-06-11 03:48 am (UTC)Joker: better start planning what rides to hit up, then.