[ It seems that something is going to follow, but Hibiki leaves it at that. Apologizing in person might be a better idea, all in all. Aware that the door is open, he knocks anyway, announcing his arrival and only then steps in. He's smiling sheepishly, but he knows that it'll be gone once he gets to reveal the reason for his visit. ]
Hello. I didn't want to bother you, Haru-san. There's...there's one thing you should know.
[ Hibiki cannot possibly tell whether Haru knows about anything or not yet, but there's no point in hiding it any longer. ]
I know this is sudden and that I should've made it clear from the very beginning, but...well. [ A heavy sigh. ] I was raised to be an assassin.
[Not even hearing it from Hibiki feels real. Assassins murder people in cold blood and Hibiki just never seemed like the type to her. Did he really want to kill people? Did he enjoy the act?
She looks confused, a little hurt, and definitely like she doesn't want to believe it.]
Sit down.
[She can't respond right away. She needs a moment to process.]
[ Hibiki takes a deep breath and sits down just as he's been told to do. There's not much for him to say at this point unless Haru wants further explanations. Which would be fair, of course. ]
That was your first mistake. Thinking that you could hide something so crucial.
[She pushes the sugar and honey towards him.] It doesn't make it any less wrong... but I wish you had been more upfront and honest with Akira-kun and I.
If it wasn't for that dream...I'd keep making that mistake again and again, every day.
[ Yet, for some reason, he can't be grateful for that. What he is grateful for, though, is Haru's kindness. Despite being hurt by him, she still wants to have this conversation, which means a lot. ]
I can't help thinking that we wouldn't become so close if I did that.You're absolutely right, however. I should've let you know earlier.
I don't want you to distance yourself, but... knowing the truth does make it a little harder. Do you have plans to continue this lifestyle? Do you want to change? Those are questions I have and I don't want you to give me lip service.
Wouldn't that be better, though? For everyone involved. I don't want to cause you any more trouble, Haru-san.
[ Everyone's been really good to him and as much as he'd like to stay friends...it's just selfish. Assassin's wishes do not matter in the first place. Well, they shouldn't matter. ]
It's been quite some time since I've done it, to be quite honest. First and foremost, I am a captain and a secretary. But I have to admit that shortly before coming here...I was considering...no, I made my mind to kill someone.
[ Perhaps he should add that it was to protect someone else, but Hibiki doesn't want to give excuses. That's not the point. Also, that's not the answer to Haru's question. ]
Do you really think that someone like me can change? Even if I want it...?
[Well, she is proud of him for not giving her lip service. But she isn't happy that he just continues to go backwards. Withdrawing from the situation won't do him any good.]
How badly do you want it? Enough to forget you ever wanted to kill someone? Enough to make an actual attempt to change?
[She is willing to give Hibiki another chance if he can just move forward. Help to make her feel better about this decision in general.]
The way I am now...I don't think I'd be able to kill that person. [ This isn't about his abilities, though. Hibiki takes a deep sigh. Conveying feelings through words is so difficult. ] No. I don't want to kill them. Them or anyone else.
[ Repeating that didn't change things much as nobody really believed him. With his eyes fixed on the liquid in the cup, Hibiki wonders if this time will be different. ]
Do you know what you could do for me, Hibiki-san? You can prove to me through actions that you aren't going to go back to your old ways and that you are making those steps to improve. Okay?
[She just wants him to feel like he can change if he wants to.]
I won't force you to change, but just know that if you decided not to... I couldn't trust you.
It is. [ It sounds plain and simple, but Hibiki doesn't want to overdo it. ] I will continue fight alongside you in order to protect others, though. If...that's alright.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2017-10-18 07:51 am (UTC)Why is that?
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Date: 2017-10-18 07:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-18 07:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-18 09:41 am (UTC)[ He's been...inconveniencing everyone for a while, after all. ]
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Date: 2017-10-18 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-18 07:02 pm (UTC)[ It seems that something is going to follow, but Hibiki leaves it at that. Apologizing in person might be a better idea, all in all. Aware that the door is open, he knocks anyway, announcing his arrival and only then steps in. He's smiling sheepishly, but he knows that it'll be gone once he gets to reveal the reason for his visit. ]
Hello. I didn't want to bother you, Haru-san. There's...there's one thing you should know.
[ Hibiki cannot possibly tell whether Haru knows about anything or not yet, but there's no point in hiding it any longer. ]
I know this is sudden and that I should've made it clear from the very beginning, but...well. [ A heavy sigh. ] I was raised to be an assassin.
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Date: 2017-10-18 07:25 pm (UTC)She looks confused, a little hurt, and definitely like she doesn't want to believe it.]
Sit down.
[She can't respond right away. She needs a moment to process.]
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Date: 2017-10-18 10:01 pm (UTC)[ Hibiki takes a deep breath and sits down just as he's been told to do. There's not much for him to say at this point unless Haru wants further explanations. Which would be fair, of course. ]
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Date: 2017-10-21 03:21 am (UTC)Hibiki-kun. Why weren't you upfront?
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Date: 2017-10-23 07:20 pm (UTC)I was... [ A deep sigh. ] I made a mistake. I thought that a person like me can lead a normal life. At the expense of others, apparently. I'm sorry.
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Date: 2017-10-25 02:20 am (UTC)[She pushes the sugar and honey towards him.] It doesn't make it any less wrong... but I wish you had been more upfront and honest with Akira-kun and I.
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Date: 2017-10-25 03:09 pm (UTC)[ Yet, for some reason, he can't be grateful for that. What he is grateful for, though, is Haru's kindness. Despite being hurt by him, she still wants to have this conversation, which means a lot. ]
I can't help thinking that we wouldn't become so close if I did that.You're absolutely right, however. I should've let you know earlier.
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Date: 2017-10-29 05:13 am (UTC)[She sips her tea slowly.]
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Date: 2017-10-29 06:42 pm (UTC)[ Everyone's been really good to him and as much as he'd like to stay friends...it's just selfish. Assassin's wishes do not matter in the first place. Well, they shouldn't matter. ]
It's been quite some time since I've done it, to be quite honest. First and foremost, I am a captain and a secretary. But I have to admit that shortly before coming here...I was considering...no, I made my mind to kill someone.
[ Perhaps he should add that it was to protect someone else, but Hibiki doesn't want to give excuses. That's not the point. Also, that's not the answer to Haru's question. ]
Do you really think that someone like me can change? Even if I want it...?
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Date: 2017-10-29 07:13 pm (UTC)How badly do you want it? Enough to forget you ever wanted to kill someone? Enough to make an actual attempt to change?
[She is willing to give Hibiki another chance if he can just move forward. Help to make her feel better about this decision in general.]
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Date: 2017-10-29 07:28 pm (UTC)[ Repeating that didn't change things much as nobody really believed him. With his eyes fixed on the liquid in the cup, Hibiki wonders if this time will be different. ]
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Date: 2017-11-02 04:03 am (UTC)[She wants to believe him so terribly. She doesn't wish to distance herself from him. It would be like losing one of her closest friends at home.]
If I choose to believe you, and you break my trust...
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Date: 2017-11-02 02:16 pm (UTC)[ A weak smile spans over his lips. Being repeatedly told that his true purpose is to become an emotionless killer has taken its toll on him. ]
I've broken your trust already once, Haru-san. I'd rather not repeat this again. If there's anything I could do to convince you, I'll do it.
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Date: 2017-11-04 03:05 am (UTC)[She just wants him to feel like he can change if he wants to.]
I won't force you to change, but just know that if you decided not to... I couldn't trust you.
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Date: 2017-11-04 06:16 pm (UTC)[ He's lost. Of course, he can promise that he's not going to kill anybody, but would that be enough? No. ]
I'll do anything. I don't want to lose a friend.
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Date: 2017-11-07 07:21 pm (UTC)[She's trying to stay calm.]
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Date: 2017-11-08 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-09 04:53 am (UTC)[And AKira of course.]
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Date: 2017-11-10 04:58 pm (UTC)[ There's no way he could leave Haru alone. Especially not after she decided to believe in him. ]
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Date: 2017-11-11 05:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
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